With a title like that, my wife may be better suited to write an article on Texas drivers and their super-human “abilities” on our grand roads and highways…
But no, I’m talking about these old bones.
In my first post, I mentioned that while I may very well be a nerd, I could likely win at any sport you wanted to challenge me… baseball, tennis, basketball, bowling, racquetball, etc. (Please note that I included racquetball just so I could include this picture. It cracks me up!) I stand by those statements, but boy is it getting harder to prove it these days!
I don’t remember what brought it up, but I mentioned just the other day to Jen just how different it felt playing tennis when I was in middle school (does anyone still call it junior high?)
In those days, I was all over the court chasing down balls on a seemingly endless supply of energy. No amount of sun exposure or lack of water could slow me down (granted, I was in beautiful San Diego, not the year round sauna that is Texas). But through high school, tennis fell on the back burner as I focused more on my best sport (baseball) and played football for about 15 minutes.
(quick side story: I NEVER played organized football. I always pitched in baseball and had a live arm. The football coach caught wind of this and convinced me I could be the backup QB if I wanted to give football a try. A few days later and I had my pads and cleats, and at my first practice I never even saw a football. All we did was run. In helmet and pads. My first practice was my last… football players are insane.)
Anyways, one day some of my college buddies indicated they used to be pretty deft on the courts as well. So we headed do to our local sports equipment retailer (read: Target) and picked up the best rackets and balls $11.99 could buy.
We started by taking some baseball style swings at the dead balls we found on the court, just to see how far we could pound them. Once I regained the feeling in my back, we starting lobbing the ball back and forth to actually warm up. The real surprise came once we’d been playing for about a half an hour and the competitive juices were really flowing. Here is a brief recap of my inner monologue during a typical point:
“Man, I’m spent already. I wish I’d never started drinking beer. Here comes a ball, I’m all over this one… baseline? Nah… wait a minute, I’m not going to get there… move feet!! Good grief am I running in a pool? Do they have me in a tractor beam? (as the ball goes sailing by inches from my outreached racket) Ahhh!!!”
My racket was ready, my mind willing, my body? Not so able… And that was almost 10 years ago!
These days, the majority of my exercise comes in the form of yard work, household chores & dog walking. And even that has been reduced because it hasn’t stopped raining since May (DFW people know what I’m talking about.) Of course, Jen finds it curious that I can’t do my household chores because it’s raining. But I don’t have to explain myself to you either.
In the meantime, if I could regain my athletic form, I’d like to do it on the golf course. My buddy is a golf pro now, and he’s been giving lessons to another buddy of mine. I’m so jealous I could burst. The good news is we’re all scrambling on Wednesday and those lessons better result in victory. Even if it doesn’t, I wont worry about being winded… in golf it’s okay to drive from shot to shot!
Td
P.S.
I want to thank my legions of adoring fans (and by legions I mean “several”) for putting up with my “serious” last couple of posts. I can’t quite share everything at this point, but August’s entry of iheartthestamper will shed light on the subject. For now, let me just say that these past few months have been among the more dilemma filled of my life. I prefer cream filled months. In any case, I am feeling better these days, and hopefully I can find my funny “pen” again for future posts…
