The saga continues…
Apr 6th, 2008 by Tony
I always cringe when I’m watching or listening to sports news, and some athlete is listed at 80%. What exactly does that mean? You can run at 80% your normal speed? You will get a hit 80% of the time that you normally would?
Well, never before have percentages meant so much to me, in both directions.
Our patio is probably 95% complete. Of course, the last 5% might take until 2012 for me to complete, and Jen will just have to deal with it. But for the most part, you can tell it’s a patio, and if you stand on it you will not die. These are the goals of a registered Structural Engineer? (Did I ever tell you guys I passed last October’s exam? I remember whining about studying but don’t know if I ever shared the good news. But I digress…)
Simply put: yes – those are my goals and I’m damn proud of them.
My ego doesn’t permit me to believe any of you show up on the first Sunday of the month to read my blogs, and don’t make any other appearances on Jen’s site. But just in case that’s the case, let me sum up the case for you.
Last Christmas, when I went to hang lights along the roof, the exterior brick veneer decided I was too husky for its liking, and shifted about 2 inches. 4700 threatening phone calls later (Jen can be MEAN!) we finally got the builder out here to repair the wall. As some sort of olive branch, he left us the excess bricks for our use.
I figured with $1500 worth of free bricks, I was probably $1000 away from a sweet patio in my backyard. Well, the quotes from the pros came back more to the tune of $3500, and to channel my inner Damon Wayans, homey don’t play dat.
After some sort of mind meld, hocus pocus or other some such, I was magically convinced that I could undertake this project myself (I told you Jen was mean). As one of my wife’s friends so cleverly put it, “it only takes them 30 minutes on HGTV. What’s the big deal?” (I’ll take care of her later.)
Well, needless to say I almost quit about 17 different times. My hands look like I ran them through a meat grinder and I’ve pretty much had a permanent charley horse for 3 weeks. But it’s all worth it to save a few bucks, right? Right!!?
I’ve still got work to do as I mentioned before. Unfortunately that “some” work can also be referred to as cleaning/spreading/removing 3 tons of dirt and rock. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go convince Jen that my back is at 40% right now… anything higher and I’ll be carting rocks till sundown.
Td
OMG this is funny. SO what you’re saying is, it would be MEAN of me to make Marque do the same… GOT IT!
hahaha
Poor Tony. I feel for you. Now get off your duff and finish up that patio before Jen decides she wants an outdoor kitchen to go with it. You think Jen’s mean? You have no idea what mean actually is; I used to be a sweet young thing like her… : )
This is soooo funny. I agree % do help out a lot, I am 50% done with complaining… I can be mean too, just ask dh!!
OK!! I got a good giggle out of this….and an idea that I need to get MEAN (let me put it this way….dh lost a bet with me 2 years ago (actually, it may be 3 years now…I’ve lost track) and the prize was that I would get a patio cover…..
Looking out side my windows….what do I see? Basketball hoops (with SERIOUS talk from dh that he needs to pour a basktball court down on our lower lot this spring
)….chairs…..weeds…..but alas!! NO patio cover…..I need to contact Jen and figure out how to get my hard earned bet prize!!
Too funny—looks like you did a great job. I had to laugh through this entire story….my dh took on the same project three years ago when we moved into our new home. He was gung-ho—so excited to build his own patio…hoa!
Three years later it is complete and we are moving…sigh! I remember all the callouses his hands had in the beginning (and all the redoing of different areas that sunk!)
Fun times. Well, get working….sounds like you have more to do and Jen is crackin the whip!
Loved your post. I was wondering how the patio was going, and it looks good. Jen should go ahead and take photos now or she might never get ‘em while she’s waiting for you to finish!
Every time DH finishes a big DIY project (i.e. tiling the floors), we MOVE! Ugh. Sometimes I think it’s worth the extra money just so you can enjoy it for a while. In any case, it looks great!
You are too funny! I feel your pain, we have been foolish enough to try similar (but much smaller) things and have paid the price. We are not as young as you are, either, and now when I suggest that “we can do that!” my husband just rolls his eyes and looks through his stash of phone numbers for people who CAN do it! We will be taking on our small front porch this spring, and I do think we can do it. No bricks involved!
You are just too funny! You poor man, that MEAN Jen! Making you work so hard to finish the entire project. I’m sure she is making you finish just so you can be so proud and able to say you are 100% finished! *hears a cracking whip in background*
I just found your blog while googling for ideas to use with my ‘Just Celebrate’ SU set. Just wanted you to know I think you have very beautiful cards! They are fabulous! Keep up the great work.
I had to laugh at your commentary
My DH and I have built not just one but TWO retaining walls for our home. The one in the back yard was first - allan blocks galore, lots of crushed gravel and about 13 yards of dirt!! Believe it or not, it took us 3 days from front to finish! We did it on the May long weekend, started Friday and ended Sunday afternoon.
Now DH will definitely bond with you on this project, especially when I told him he had to redo (yes you read right) part of the bottom layer as the blocks were not lining up properly on the second level and the higher we went the worse it would get! Needless to say, I had some very interesting names that day….BUT when the wall was done he agreed (bowing his head in shame) that I was right - ooooh how I like to hear those words (evil grin on my face now).
Now before you begin to think he got the bad end of the stick, let me tell you MY portion of the work! Jeff being an engineer decided to take the leveling of the first row on, because if the first row aint right, the wall sinks, shifts etc. So, while he was putting gravel down and setting down the Allen Blocks with his level etc. I was the one loading them (30 pounds each) into the wheelbarrow and movign them from the front of the house, up the slope to the back yard! By the end of the second day, I was hauling 4 - 5 of these puppies in one wheelbarrow - haven’t had biceps like that since I threw in track in field in high school! Then, I got to shovel dirt and dump it behind the Allan Blocks once the wall was built as we left room for dirt behind so we could plant some things. I outlasted my hubby and at the end of it all, we were VERY pleased with our 3 day adventure, and still are 5 years later!!!
Phase two came with the front flower beds! Had 2 tons plus of shale delivered and we made two beds in the front over a weekend once again! That doesn’t take into account the 5 hours of cutting and digging up of grass so we could extend the beds, which I did. Once the shale was down, I outlasted DH in the dirt hauling again as we had a LOT of dirt to move from the BACK of teh yard to the front this time ( at least it was downhill!). Long story short, you’ll enjoy using your creation and will one day laugh at the aches and pains etc. it took to get it
Think I”ll e-mail Jen and tell her there is no such thing as 40%
LOL — couldn’t resist…I can be mean too 
And congrats on passing your exam!!!! Enjoy your weekend comments. Keep up the good work at school too.
My husband and I have come to an understanding and that is that time is money and since he’d take forever to do any project like this one, we’d just be better off paying someone else to do it
Maybe you just have to be a little more incompetent!
Ha ha!! What a cutie! Ellie…not the homey clown!!
LOL!!! You completely crack me up, good luck, we women can be brutal when we want something done!!
lol…you are cracking me up…although I am feeling for you! I will do just about anything to save a buck but man!…what an undertaking! I look forward to seeing the finished product. I’m sure it will be fab and how awesome that you did it yourself! Take care!
tony, thanks for the update on the patio. i was wondering why jen wasn’t posting pics! my husband has spent the last two weeks doing home projects–organizing the garage by installing shelves and finally organizing the basement workshop area (we’ve only lived here 18 months already!). all this to say, you’re in good company, and you’re already a better man for this. just think how easily the words, “sure, hon” will roll off your tongue the next time jen wants to HIRE someone to get something done!